Gender Discrimination

“Oh! I wish you were a boy”…I don’t remember how many times my father said these words to me during my growing up days. I was born into a family of seven and I am the second daughter. I used to wonder if I was ever accepted in the family since I turned out to be a girl while he was expecting a boy. Did I have a choice in determining my gender from my mother’s womb? What was I supposed to become with these words?

My growing up days was tough. My father rarely paid my school fees without murmuring and complaining even though he was quite well off. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t impress my father. I often overheard him speaking in favor of my younger brother and discrediting my potentials. I grew up with low self- esteem as a result of the words my father spoke to me. As I grew older, I resolved to start speaking words of affirmation to myself and through these words I regained my self-confidence.

On the twenty sixth of July, three years ago I had my second daughter- a child born in the most dramatic circumstances. My ovulation ceased after I had my first daughter and I couldn’t conceive no matter how hard I tried. Suddenly, I conceived without any medical intervention when my first daughter turned seven. I went through a very challenging pregnancy and birth process that almost claimed my life and on that beautiful day, my definition of a miracle was born. My joy knew no bounds and in my joyful state, I called my father’s brother (my parents had passed since 1999) to inform him of my new baby. To my amazement and disdain, my uncle’s only response to my good news was, “you had another girl?” I wondered if the cycle was repeating itself again. How long will the joy of having a child be corroded because of the child’s gender? Is there something wrong with being a daughter, a mother or a sister? Is being feminine the new disease in town?

The rejection I faced from my father in my early days gave me a passion to speak for the right of the girl child. For as long as I can remember, I have loved to advocate the rights of the girl child. Even as a child I constantly spoke in defense of the girl child. I started a group for young women and I give attention to nurturing their self-esteem through positive words. Some of them had been battered as a result of what they had gone through. I could feel their pain and rejection because I have walked in their shoes. No one understands the agony of a woman than another woman.   

 Existing pointers in Africa show that the girl child is discriminated against from childhood into adulthood. This practice cannot be allowed to continue in the 21st century. My desire is to remove barriers poised against the girl child through advocacy, education and imploring the government to promote an active policy of mainstreaming a balanced gender perspective in to all programs. This is my passion! This is my calling!